*rant sorta on classes, with a little bit of criticism, sarcasm, and comedy mixed in*
Didn't feel like I did too well my the Chem midterm yesterday. 50 min is sort of on the short side for taking an exam. Hadn't done that in nearly 5 years. Had block schedule ever since high school and all classes were 90 min long. Ah another unassuring thing for my Calc 21 (engineering series on sequences and series with tests on convergence/divergence) C course is that 1. the professor is a math major (ok so no big surprise), 2. It's his first time teaching the material (big uh-oh) and explains it with tons of techical jargon instead of laymans terms. 3. when someone asked why natural logarithm was log on the board instead of ln, the professor responded "who uses log base 10 anyways, well unless you're an engineer or something."? (So basically log = log base e, which is ln.) The kicker? The course is designed for engineers and he practically dissed about 95% of the class. 4. he says "well, this is a beyond the scope of the class" at least once every lecture and spends a good 10+ min talking about some theorem that applies to math majors (like 0% of the class). What a waste of time (especially for engineers since it's not efficient at all.) 5. at the end of each lecture he says "well, I diverged from the course syllabus a bit, but I'll try to cover that next time." (uh, how much time have we spent diverging? Guess the value to this Calc 21C series as time (t) increases from 0 to infinity causes the value to diverge indefinitely. (essentially, going to class and spending time there has no point besides starting at some topic and diverging from it by the end of lecture. It's not even a "interesting event" topic but on how interesting a certain series is.
*reflective blog*
All in all, I wonder if I belong in the engineering field. Most of the courses are getting harder by a bit now and I feel like I'm falling behind from the top. Then again I've sorta gotten used to being 2nd. Being a backup, attempting to do a large portion of some sort of project and staying behind the scenes. Getting B's instead of A's, being 2nd choice. Think about it, even my car (87-92 Supra Turbo) is considered 2nd in comparison to the 93-98 Mk4 Supra Turbo (popularized by movies, magazines, etc). Color silver (car color) is 2nd in rank compared to gold (somewhat like olympic medals bronze, silver, gold.) Maybe it's just of late that I'm realizing it and coming to accept the fact. Interesting fact, I score as a Type 2 main Enneagram Test type somewhat related to INFJ Meyers Brigg-Jung personality type that I also score. For a long time, maybe it's also from the stereotypical Asian upbringing that one's expected to be 1st, to be the top, to win. Oddly, lately my parents don't really seem to mind too much or put an extreme amount of emphasis on grades but rather satisfaction that I get out of life. It doesn't bother me as much anymore that I might end up being in the shadow of someone else. Basically find what I enjoy and that I'm good at, and push my full potential. Somewhat like what I'm doing to my 87 Supra. As much as it's overlooked by people, I want to be able to make it's full ability shine through. At least that's the metaphor that I sort of see it as right now. Hell, I even have a slightly laggy but exponential learning curve. Slow to start, but once I get going, it just picks up faster and quicker (kinda like a turbo car). Maybe I'll rethink about my major a little bit. I'd love to spend my time working on cars as a job and as a hobby as well. I'm a little bit weaker on the math side, science I'm pretty well equipped for that. Making videos are pretty fun as well (visual communication).