I'm back. Almost completely well from a week of being sick.
So, I'm allergic to hydrogenated oils (and partially hydrogenated oils). Over the last 2 or so months, I've been experimenting to see if it affected my acne. Basically everytime I eat something with it, I start breaking out. When I stop eating stuff containing it for 3-4 weeks, my acne almost disappears, presuming that I get enough water in my body. For a brief explanation of what hydrogenated oils are, it is a process in which oils are modified so that they will preserve better than untreated oil. Know how some foods with oil in them taste funny after being kept for a while? Modifying the oil helps to prevent that stale taste. I haven't even gotten to the worst part about it. Basically what this means for me is that I can't eat most candies (chocolate, Starbursts (one of my favorites, or was) as well as snack items like Grahams crackers, Pocky, a large variety of cereals, a lot of packaged foods, certain ice creams, and likely a lot of fast food items as well since they fry them in hydrogenated vegetable oils. On the bright side, it means eating a lot more healthy. Fruits both fresh and dry, mochi, natural chips, or even soups.
Totally agree with this web blog post by Johnny Ngo http://www.xanga.com/JonnyNgo/588935442/death-of-the-love-song.html What ever happened to those kind of songs lately on the radio? I can watch asian dramas or anime and they're there, but on American media, it's less and less apparent. It really does suck for the hopeless romantics nice guys/gals, in the environment of today's society. I hate myself for playing fairly, for not being able to cheat to get ahead in what a lot of people consider only a game, for thinking about and putting others ahead of myself, for always being on the outside looking in, for not being able to escape this curse. And yet, I still think that in the end it'll be all worth it. Worth all the moments of wanting support, but not getting any, all of the walls and no open doors, all the disappointments, all of the pain, all of the times staying up late wondering "is there someone out there just for me?", all of those nights listening to love songs, those nights watching anime and dramas and wondering "what if?", all of the ego crushing, all of the torn pride, and above all else, losing hope.
I was really worried about academics for most of winter quarter and about 1/2 of spring quarter until the first round of midterms. In the end, everything worked out. I might not have gotten A's or even solid B's across all of my classes, but I made it a few points over the mean average 49% vs 44% avg. I was worried about calculus and not getting anything of what the professor has been teaching and then for Chem, barely getting a C. Physics, I got a 91% yet for some reason, it still came out to a B. As of now, I have not idea about Atmospheric Science, but all I know is I did learn something in the end from all the classes. Even with all that, I don't think I'm disappointed at all, because I did what I'm capable of. I can't really be anyone else but me, so why should I pretend?
All in all, I get the feeling that everything will work out in the end. Academics, future job, wonderful wife, and great kids. If just judging by present, I think I can believe that the future will work out, because I've had 4 near death experiences and yet I'm still here, which means I still have a purpose.